“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.” Jeremiah 1:5
A few days ago I was reminded of God’s love for me. There are constant reminders around us all the time. The very air we breathe is evidence of God’s love, since He could choose to remove that air at any minute. But this was something very specific and directed to just me. He provided me with something I wanted. It wasn’t something I need, like air or food or water. It was a want. A wish. A luxury. And it wasn’t a general thing. It was very specific. It was exactly what I had wished for, down to the slightest detail. Of course, God does those kinds of things every day but this time I noticed it. This gift caused me to feel so very loved by God!
I was reminded of a quote I read years ago by Annie Dillard. I don’t know that I’m quoting it exactly but she said something like, “I spent the day feeling created.” That’s how this gift made me feel. We aren’t something that happened by chance. We were intentionally created by a loving, caring Creator. This verse in Jeremiah tells us that God knew us even before we were created. How is that possible? I believe that means that He knew exactly how he was going to create us. He knew what color hair and eyes we would have, what our likes and dislikes would be, what kind of personality we would have. He thought it all out before putting together the first atom of our being. To be created means to be planned. To be planned means to be thought out. To be thought out means that at any time during that thinking process, God could have chosen to abandon the plan. But He didn’t. He created you and me exactly according to His perfect plan. What amazing, awesome love goes into that kind of creation! That’s the love He has for each of us. To realize even a little bit of that love is to feel created.
So what does it mean when we beg God for something and that prayer doesn’t seem to be answered? Does that mean God has stopped loving us? Not at all! Sometimes He loves us too much to give us what we ask for. I have to admit that I would very willingly give up the gift He recently gave me for a “yes” answer to another prayer I’ve been praying for a long time. But so far, that “yes” hasn’t come. And it may never come. No matter how hard I pray, my loved one may not be healed this side of heaven. But this gift shows me that God hears my prayers – all of them. And He answers in His time and in His way. It also shows me that He has only our good in mind. He loved us even before we were created and His love is never-ending.