“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32
Why is it so hard to forgive? What is it about forgiveness that makes it seem almost impossible? We can think we forgave and before we know it, our brains are once again dwelling on what happened to us. Let me be clear. Right now I’m not talking about those huge sins that have been committed against us, the ones that have damaged our heart and our soul. You see, as I write this I’m struggling to forgive. Before you get all teary-eyed for me, let me say that nothing huge has happened to me. No one accosted me, or robbed from me, or betrayed me. What I’m struggling to forgive right now is one of those really minor slights. If I had blinked I would have missed it. But unfortunately, my eyes were wide open and this slight, that was probably completely unintentional, keeps running through my mind and before I know it, I’ve worked up a pretty good head of steam on my anger. So I choose to forgive and try to take my thoughts captive and think about something else. Before I know it, my brain is once again ruminating on this “terrible” thing that was done to me.
Look over the last couple of sentences and see how many times I mentioned myself. That’s what makes it so hard to forgive. Pride. Putting ourselves first. Making “me” more important than “them.” If I was thinking about the ones who supposedly slighted me, I would know that it was unintentional. I would remember how much these same people love me and would realize they would never knowingly hurt me. In fact, if were truly thinking of them, I wouldn’t even care if they did hurt me intentionally. I would be more concerned about them and their wants and needs. Pride does more than keep us from thinking of others first. Even worse, pride is thinking more about ourselves than we do about God. If I had thought about God from the beginning of this incident, I would have immediately lifted the entire situation to Him in prayer. I would have left it in His hands. And He would have been very happy to show me what a petty situation it really is.
This is a pretty interesting section of scripture. God, through Paul, is telling us about things we shouldn’t be doing. Things to stay away from. Things like unwholesome talk, or disobedience, or fighting, or anger. Then comes this verse, which acts almost like a hinge. After this, He tells us to imitate Christ. It’s almost as if we are to turn away from all these unholy actions and turn to acting like Christ. And how do we make that turn? Forgiveness. How much are we forgive? Well, how much did God forgive us? He forgave everything. He forgave the big stuff and the little. He forgave the intentional sins and the unintentional. He forgave wholly and completely. And that’s how we’re to forgive. When we do that, our kindness and compassion towards others won’t be forced. It will come from a heart that is filled with the kindness and compassion God has shown us. Let’s turn our thoughts to God, put Him first and everything else will fall into place.