“Do you see a man who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for him.” Proverbs 29:20
Have you ever said something without thinking about it first? Of course you have. I think we all have. That’s just natural, right? According to this verse, it may be natural but it’s not what God wants. In fact, He says it’s better to be a fool than to speak too quickly. None of us wants to be a fool. And yet there is more hope for this person than there is for someone speaking too quickly.
What does it mean to speak in haste? I think we’ve been seeing a lot of that in our culture lately. Opinions and emotions are running deep. As a result, many have been voicing those opinions without regard for the person who will hear or read those words. If things don’t immediately change or go our way, we say it again, only louder this time. And again and again and louder and louder. The problem is, those on the other side of the debate are doing the same thing and pretty soon we have a shouting match in which no one is really hearing the other side. There are times when we very much need to stand up to the wrongs of society. We need to speak up for those who don’t have a voice. We are called to proclaim the gospel of Jesus. Scripture tells us to “let the redeemed of the Lord say so.” I don’t think this is telling us not to talk. Rather, it’s telling us how and when to talk.
If there is something I feel strongly about and someone voices the opposite opinion, I want to quickly correct their obviously faulty point of view. I hope you can hear the sarcasm there. I say obviously faulty because when someone disagrees with us, well, of course they’re wrong and we’re right. What if the opposite is true? What if they really are right? Wouldn’t you want to know that? After all, if I’m believing a lie, that lie is keeping me from God because God is truth. Therefore, if you’re right and I’m wrong, I’d like to have the grace and humility to hear what you’re saying and be open to the suggestion that there just might be some kernels of truth there. I don’t want to be like the child who sticks their fingers in their ears and sings, “La, la, la” so they don’t have to hear something that will force them to admit they’re wrong. But that’s exactly what we’re doing when we speak in haste. Somehow we think that if we just keep using a lot of words and don’t give the other person a chance to share their opinion, then we’ve forced them to agree with us. But we haven’t. We’ve just lost an opportunity to hear their side and possibly learn some new truths.
The issue goes deeper than that. Not only have we cheated ourselves, we’ve devalued the other person. We’re basically telling them their opinion doesn’t matter. Perhaps their opinion was formed from wounds they’ve received. When we devalue their opinion, we’re also saying we don’t care about those wounds. In addition, we may very well be adding to those wounds. We usually don’t know when a person feels as if they are not worthy to have their own opinion. That’s not something people usually go around advertising. When we don’t let them have their own opinion, we are only enforcing that painful lie.
I’m asking God to help me begin to really think before I speak. I want to see each individual as an opportunity to learn more, even if it’s learning something about which I disagree. More importantly, I want to value the other person more than I value my own opinion. I want to see each individual as someone created in God’s image, someone who is valued and loved by God enough to give His own Son for them. If I can show them I value their thoughts and opinions, maybe they’ll see just a little bit of how much worth they have in God’s eyes. If they see that, we’ve all won the debate.